Why Chicago's Wealthiest Are Adding Divorce Coaches to Their Legal Teams (And You Should Too)

Town & Country's recent piece on divorce coaches caught my attention – not because it's groundbreaking news, but because it reflects something I've been seeing in my Chicago practice for years. More high-net-worth clients are building teams that go far beyond just attorneys, and honestly, it's about time.

Let me be clear: I've guided over a thousand clients through divorce, and the ones who fare best aren't always those with the most expensive lawyers. They're the ones who understand that divorce isn't just a legal transaction – it's a complete life restructuring that touches everything from your finances to your relationship with your children.

What Divorce Coaches Actually Do (Beyond the Buzzwords)

A divorce coach isn't a therapist, though they provide emotional support. They're not lawyers, though they understand the legal process. Think of them as your personal strategist for everything your attorney doesn't have bandwidth to handle.

In my experience, divorce coaches excel in three critical areas:

Communication strategy. I've watched clients torpedo settlement negotiations because they couldn't resist firing off angry emails. A good coach helps you channel that frustration productively. They'll draft communications, prep you for difficult conversations, and most importantly, help you recognize when to step away from your phone.

Co-parenting frameworks. This is where I see the biggest impact. Coaches help establish communication protocols, holiday schedules, and decision-making processes that actually stick. They're thinking five years ahead when you're struggling to get through next week.

Financial reality checks. Not budget planning – that's for financial advisors – but helping you understand what your new life actually costs. I've seen too many clients agree to settlements that look good on paper but become financial nightmares in practice.

When High-Net-Worth Clients Need a Coach Most

Three scenarios where I consistently recommend divorce coaching:

Complex custody arrangements. If you have multiple homes, children in private schools, or international considerations, a coach helps navigate the logistics your parenting plan can't fully capture. They're particularly valuable when one spouse travels extensively or you're dealing with different state jurisdictions.

*Business interests at stake. When family businesses or professional practices are involved, emotions run higher. I've seen successful executives completely lose their strategic thinking abilities during divorce. A coach helps maintain perspective when you're making decisions that affect not just your family, but employees and partners.

High-conflict situations. If your spouse has retained an aggressive attorney or you're dealing with personality disorders, a coach becomes essential. They help you stay strategic instead of reactive, which saves money and protects your children from unnecessary drama.

Choosing the Right Coach (Red Flags to Avoid)

Not all divorce coaches are created equal, and the field is largely unregulated. Here's what I tell clients to look for:

Professional credentials matter. Look for certifications from organizations like the Center for Divorce Education or International Coach Federation. Avoid anyone who promises to "save your marriage" – that's not their role.

Experience with high-asset divorces is crucial. Someone who typically handles $50,000 divorces won't understand the complexities of stock options, trust structures, or international assets.

Clear boundaries are non-negotiable. Good coaches work with your legal team, not around it. If they're giving legal advice or promising specific outcomes, walk away.

The ROI Question Everyone's Asking

Divorce coaching typically runs $150-400 per hour in Chicago. Expensive? Sure. But consider this: I bill $750 per hour. If a coach can handle the emotional support and logistical coordination that would otherwise consume my time, you're actually saving money while getting better outcomes.

More importantly, the decisions you make during divorce shape your financial and emotional well-being for decades. The cost of getting it wrong – whether that's an unworkable custody arrangement or a settlement that leaves you house-rich but cash-poor – far exceeds the investment in proper support.

The Bottom Line

Divorce coaching isn't a luxury anymore, especially for complex, high-asset cases. It's strategic planning for one of the most important transitions of your life.

If you're considering divorce or already in the process, ask yourself: Are you building a team that sets you up for success, or are you trying to handle everything through your attorney? The difference often determines whether you emerge from divorce stronger or spend years recovering from avoidable mistakes.

Written by Jonathan D. Steele

Chicago divorce attorney with cybersecurity certifications (Security+, CEH, ISC2). Illinois Super Lawyers Rising Star 2016-2025.

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For more insights, read our Divorce Decoded blog.