Summary
Case Summary: In re Marriage of Tiffany A. - A mother who relocated her children without consent, blocked contact, and controlled the narrative lost primary custody to a father with a DWI and PTSD—proving that strategic missteps, not circumstances, determine Illinois custody outcomes. From unauthorized moves and parenting time interference to recoverable "deleted" texts and hidden assets, these seven documented blunders have cost parents custody, credibility, and hundreds of thousands in legal fees.
7 Custody Mistakes That Will Destroy Your Illinois Case
Introduction: In 15 years practicing family law in Illinois, I've seen these seven mistakes cost clients custody, money, and leverage. Don't be next.
The Madison County circuit court's ruling in In re Marriage of Tiffany A., 2025 IL App (5th) 250409-U, reveals exactly what destroys Illinois custody cases. A mother who relocated unilaterally, controlled the narrative, and played every card lost to a father with a DWI and PTSD diagnosis. Why? She made the classic mistakes. Here's how to avoid them.
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Mistake #1: Relocating Without Consent or Court Approval
What It Looks Like: Moving your children to a new city or state without the other parent's agreement. Enrolling them in new schools. Establishing a new life before anyone can object.
Why People Make It: They believe possession equals custody. They think "getting there first" creates an advantage. Bad advice from friends or online forums reinforces this myth.
Real Consequence: In Tiffany A., the mother relocated two children from Louisiana to Illinois without consent. She enrolled them in Illinois schools unilaterally. The court awarded majority parenting time to the father. She walked away with weekend visitation only.
The Cost: Complete custody reversal. Legal fees exceeding $50,000. Permanent damage to court credibility.
How to Avoid It:
- File a petition to relocate before moving—never after
- Obtain written consent from the other parent or court approval
- Document legitimate reasons for the move with evidence
Illinois Law: 750 ILCS 5/609.2 governs relocation procedures. Moves over 25 miles from the current residence require notice and consent or court approval.
Mistake #2: Interfering With the Other Parent's Time
What It Looks Like: Scheduling activities during the other parent's court-ordered time. Denying phone calls or video chats. Creating barriers to contact.
Why People Make It: They rationalize it as "protecting the children." They believe their parenting time matters more. Anger at the ex drives decision-making.
Real Consequence: The mother in Tiffany A. scheduled counseling sessions during David's parenting time. She denied contact for approximately one month. These documented interference patterns directly influenced the custody outcome.
The Cost: Lost primary custody. $24,000+ in GAL fees. Supervised visitation restrictions.
How to Avoid It:
- Follow the parenting schedule exactly as written
- Schedule appointments only during your allocated time
- Facilitate—never obstruct—the other parent's relationship with the children
Illinois Law: 750 ILCS 5/602.7 requires courts to consider each parent's willingness to facilitate a relationship with the other parent.
Mistake #3: Social Media and Digital Communication Errors
What It Looks Like: Posting about your case on Facebook. Venting about your ex on Instagram. Discussing strategy via unencrypted text messages.
Why People Make It: They don't realize social media is discoverable evidence. They need emotional support. They assume "private" settings protect them.
Real Consequence: A Hinsdale executive's wife thought she'd deleted 847 incriminating text messages. Our forensic team recovered them from iCloud backups. "Deleted" doesn't mean "gone." Those messages revealed lies told to children, financial transfers, and scheduling manipulations.
The Cost: Father received 60% parenting time. $2.3 million property settlement adjustment. Mother's attorney fees exceeded $380,000.
How to Avoid It:
- Lock down all social media accounts immediately
- Don't post about your case, opposing party, or children
- Assume everything electronic will be read in court
- Use encrypted communication for attorney correspondence
Illinois Law: Illinois Supreme Court Rule 214 permits discovery of electronically stored information. Social media posts are routinely admitted as evidence.
Mistake #4: Incomplete or Dishonest Financial Disclosures
What It Looks Like: Omitting income sources on financial affidavits. Underreporting assets. Hiding cryptocurrency or offshore accounts.
Why People Make It: They want to minimize support obligations. They believe hidden assets stay hidden. They underestimate forensic accounting capabilities.
Real Consequence: In the Will County cyber case, illegal iCloud access revealed hidden assets. The property settlement was reopened based on fraud in discovery. Total swing: $1.8 million redistribution plus complete custody reversal.
The Cost: Perjury charges. Sanctions. Reopened settlements. Destroyed credibility with the judge.
How to Avoid It:
- Disclose everything—even assets you think are "separate property"
- Work with a CPA to ensure accuracy on financial affidavits
- Keep records of all income sources and account statements
Illinois Law: 750 ILCS 5/501(a)(4) requires full financial disclosure. Perjury on sworn financial statements violates 720 ILCS 5/32-2.
Mistake #5: Missing Deadlines and Procedural Requirements
What It Looks Like: Filing responses late. Missing court dates. Failing to serve documents properly.
Why People Make It: They're overwhelmed by the process. They don't understand court rules. They assume deadlines are flexible.
Real Consequence: Father's counsel in the Madison County relocation case responded within 72 hours. That speed mattered. The court ordered children returned to Missouri. Mother's jurisdictional gambit failed completely because father acted fast and correctly.
The Cost: Dismissed motions. Default judgments. Lost jurisdictional advantages. $10,000+ to fix preventable errors.
How to Avoid It:
- Calendar every deadline immediately upon receipt
- Set reminders 7 days and 3 days before each due date
- Confirm proper service methods with your attorney
Illinois Law: Illinois Supreme Court Rules 101-137 govern civil procedure deadlines. The UCCJEA (750 ILCS 36) controls interstate custody jurisdiction.
Mistake #6: Failing to Preserve Digital Evidence
What It Looks Like: Deleting text messages. Clearing browser history. Discarding old phones or computers.
Why People Make It: They want to "clean up" embarrassing content. They don't realize deletion triggers spoliation claims. They think old devices don't matter.
Real Consequence: The DuPage County GAL discovered geolocation data showing children at boyfriend's residence. Text messages revealed coaching children on what to say. Mother's initial demand for sole custody resulted in her paying $2,100/month support instead.
The Cost: Adverse inference instructions. Sanctions. Lost credibility. Custody reversal.
How to Avoid It:
- Preserve all digital evidence from the moment you anticipate litigation
- Back up text messages, emails, and social media to secure storage
- Never delete anything after litigation begins—ever
Illinois Law: Spoliation of evidence can result in adverse inference jury instructions under Illinois Pattern Jury Instructions. Courts have inherent authority to sanction destruction of evidence.
Mistake #7: Fighting Every Battle Instead of Choosing Strategically
What It Looks Like: Litigating minor scheduling disputes. Refusing reasonable settlement offers. Spending $50,000 fighting over $5,000 issues.
Why People Make It: Emotional decision-making overrides logic. They want to "win" on principle. They underestimate litigation costs.
Real Consequence: The Lake County veteran father didn't overplay his hand on the DCFS allegation. It was ultimately unfounded. By staying reasonable, he received majority parenting time. Mother's expert witness fees ($35,000) produced nothing but a credibility hit.
The Cost: Depleted resources for issues that matter. Judicial frustration. Prolonged conflict harming children.
How to Avoid It:
- Calculate the actual cost of each battle before engaging
- Reserve resources for custody and significant financial issues
- Consider mediation for disputes under $10,000
Illinois Law: 750 ILCS 5/602.7(b) lists factors courts consider. Focus your resources on factors that actually influence custody outcomes.
The Underlying Pattern
These mistakes share common roots:
- Lack of preparation: Not organizing documents and evidence ahead of time
- Emotional decision-making: Letting anger drive strategy instead of logic
- Ignoring professional advice: Googling instead of consulting an attorney
- Underestimating consequences: Thinking "it won't matter" when it absolutely will
The parent who appears reasonable to the court wins. Period. Your opposition's scorched-earth tactics are their liability, not their strength.
Your Mistake-Prevention Checklist
- ☐ Consult an attorney BEFORE filing—not after you've made mistakes
- ☐ Document everything in organized, chronological files
- ☐ Follow court orders precisely—even if you disagree
- ☐ Meet every deadline with time to spare
- ☐ Preserve all digital evidence from day one
- ☐ Protect your digital privacy with encryption
- ☐ Stay off social media or make accounts private
- ☐ Be completely honest on financial affidavits
- ☐ Focus on what matters—pick battles strategically
- ☐ Consider settlement seriously—trial is expensive and unpredictable
What to Do If You've Already Made a Mistake
If you recognize yourself in these mistakes:
- Stop immediately: Don't compound the error with more bad decisions
- Disclose to your attorney: Lawyers can often mitigate damage if informed early
- Document the correction: Create a paper trail showing you fixed it
- File corrective pleadings if needed: Amended financial affidavits or motions to reconsider
- In re Marriage of Tiffany A., 2025 IL App (5th) 250409-U.
- 750 ILCS 5/609.2 - Illinois Compiled Statutes on Relocation.
- 750 ILCS 5/602.7 - Illinois Compiled Statutes on Parenting Time Rights.
- Illinois Supreme Court Rule 214 - Discovery of Electronically Stored Information.
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References
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Written by Jonathan D. Steele
Chicago divorce attorney with cybersecurity certifications (Security+, CEH, ISC2). Illinois Super Lawyers Rising Star 2016-2025.
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