Gray Divorce on the Rise: What High-Profile Splits Teach Us About Late-Life Separation

By Jonathan D. Steele, Partner at Beermann LLP

January marks the beginning of what family law practitioners call 'Divorce Season'—the period following the holidays when many couples finally act on decisions they have been contemplating for months or years. This year, high-profile separations, including reports of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban ending their nearly 20-year marriage, have brought renewed attention to a growing demographic trend: gray divorce.

What Is Gray Divorce?

Gray divorce refers to marital dissolution among couples aged 50 and older. According to research from Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate for Americans over 50 has roughly doubled since 1990, even as overall divorce rates have declined. For those over 65, the rate has tripled.

This trend reflects several societal shifts: longer life expectancies, reduced stigma around divorce, increased financial independence, and the phenomenon of 'empty nest' realizations where couples discover they have grown apart after children leave home.

Unique Challenges of Late-Life Divorce

Retirement Asset Division

Perhaps the most significant distinction in gray divorce is the complexity of retirement asset division. Unlike younger couples who may have decades to rebuild savings, those divorcing after 50 must carefully evaluate:

• 401(k) and IRA accounts accumulated over a long marriage
• Pension valuations using the Hunt formula to determine marital vs. non-marital portions
• Social Security considerations—a spouse married 10+ years may be entitled to benefits based on the other spouse's earnings record
• Healthcare coverage before Medicare eligibility

Under Illinois equitable distribution principles (750 ILCS 5/503), courts divide marital property fairly—though not necessarily equally. For retirement assets, this often requires Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs) to divide accounts without triggering early withdrawal penalties.

Long-Term Spousal Support

When a marriage has lasted 20 or more years, Illinois law provides that maintenance (alimony) may be awarded indefinitely. The duration calculation under 750 ILCS 5/504 can result in permanent support obligations for long marriages, making this a critical negotiation point.

Adult Children Dynamics

While gray divorce does not involve custody disputes, it often creates unexpected family complications. Adult children may feel caught in the middle, asked to take sides, or struggle with changes to family traditions. Estate planning must be revisited immediately to reflect new circumstances.

Steps to Protect Your Interests

If you are considering divorce after a long marriage, here are key considerations:

1. Gather financial documentation—statements for all retirement accounts, pension plan summaries, Social Security earnings records
2. Understand your budget—what will it cost to maintain your lifestyle independently?
3. Consider timing—divorcing just before a pension vests or spouse reaches Medicare eligibility may have significant financial implications
4. Consult professionals—a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) can model long-term scenarios

Get Experienced Guidance

Gray divorce requires an attorney who understands both the legal framework and the financial complexities unique to later-life separation. At Beermann LLP, we work with clients to develop strategies that protect retirement security while achieving fair outcomes.

This article discusses general legal principles in Illinois family law. Legislative and case law developments may affect the applicability of this information. For advice about your specific situation, consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.

Written by Jonathan D. Steele

Chicago divorce attorney with cybersecurity certifications (Security+, ISC2 CC, Google Cybersecurity Professional Certificate). Illinois Super Lawyers Rising Star 2016-2025.

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For more insights, read our Divorce Decoded blog.