Updated January 2025
The question I get at least once a week: "The engagement is off. Do I have to give the ring back?"
The answer depends entirely on who ended it and when. Illinois has specific rules—and they're not what most people expect.
Here's the complete breakdown.
The Core Rule: It's a Conditional Gift
In Illinois, an engagement ring is not like a birthday present. It's a conditional gift—given on the condition that the marriage happens.
This principle comes from Harris v. Davis (1986) and Vann v. Vehrs (1994). The ring is a pledge, a symbol of the contract to marry. Until the wedding happens, the recipient doesn't have full ownership—only possession.
If the condition is met (you get married): The ring becomes the recipient's absolute property.
If the condition fails (engagement ends): The right to the ring depends on who broke it off.
Before the Wedding: Who Ended It Matters
The Illinois "Act-Based" Rule
Illinois doesn't ask why the engagement ended. It asks who performed the act of ending it.
This was established definitively in Liceaga v. Baez (2019 IL App 1st 181170): "The correct inquiry in deciding which party is entitled to possession of the ring is which party's act conclusively ended the engagement."
The implications are stark:
| Who Ends It | Who Keeps the Ring |
|---|---|
| Donor (person who gave the ring) | Recipient keeps it |
| Recipient (person who received the ring) | Ring returns to donor |
| Mutual decision | Ring returns to donor |
Why "Moral Fault" Doesn't Matter
This is where Illinois law surprises people.
You might think: "She cheated on me. I called off the wedding. Obviously I get the ring back."
Wrong.
In Liceaga, the court explicitly stated: "A court does not consider why an engagement ended, i.e. the underlying fault for the relationship's breakdown, but only which party performed the act actually ending the engagement."
If you discover infidelity and say "the wedding is off," you ended it—even if their conduct caused your decision. Under Illinois law, you may lose the ring.
This rule is designed to keep courts out of the business of litigating private relationship drama. But it creates outcomes many people find unfair.
The Comparison: Illinois vs. Other States
Illinois is an outlier. Most states follow one of two approaches:
Fault-Based (Traditional)
The party who unjustifiably breaks the engagement loses the ring. If you had a good reason to end it (infidelity, abuse), you may recover the ring even though you ended it.
Strict No-Fault (Modern Trend)
The ring always returns to the donor, regardless of who ended it.
This is the rule in Pennsylvania (Lindh v. Surman, 1999) and Massachusetts (Johnson v. Settino, 2024). The logic: the marriage didn't happen, so the condition wasn't met, so the ring goes back. Period.
Where Illinois Lands
Illinois uses a modified act-based standard. It's not traditional fault (courts won't weigh moral justifications). It's not strict no-fault (the donor doesn't automatically get the ring back). Instead, the single question is: who said "it's over"?
After the Wedding: It's Hers (or His)
Once you say "I do," everything changes.
The condition of the gift (marriage) is fulfilled. The ring becomes the recipient's absolute property—specifically, non-marital property under 750 ILCS 5/503.
Classification in Divorce
Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act:
- Section 503(a)(6): Property acquired *before* the marriage is non-marital. The engagement ring was delivered before the ceremony.
- Section 503(a)(1): Property acquired by *gift* is non-marital.
Result: In virtually every Illinois divorce, the engagement ring goes to the recipient as non-marital property. It's not subject to equitable division. The other spouse gets no credit for its value.
Wedding Bands: Same Rule
Wedding bands exchanged during the ceremony are interspousal gifts—also non-marital under 503(a)(1). Each spouse keeps their own band.
The Upgrade Problem
Here's where it gets complicated. Many couples "upgrade" the ring during the marriage—a bigger diamond for the 10th anniversary, purchased with joint funds.
Commingling and Transmutation
If marital funds are used to improve or replace a non-marital ring, the asset may become marital property.
Example:
- Wife's original ring: $8,000 (non-marital)
- Husband takes the diamond, trades it in, adds $25,000 from joint savings
- New ring: $33,000
Analysis: The new ring is commingled. If the non-marital component ($8,000 trade-in) can't be clearly traced, the entire ring may be deemed marital.
Reimbursement Rights
Under 750 ILCS 5/503(c)(2), if marital funds contributed to a non-marital asset, the marital estate may be entitled to reimbursement—provided the contribution is traceable by clear and convincing evidence.
Practical effect: Wife keeps the ring, but Husband might receive an offsetting award from other marital assets.
Heirloom Rings: Sentiment vs. Law
The most emotionally charged disputes involve family heirlooms. Husband argues: "That was my grandmother's ring. It's been in my family for 100 years."
The Bad News for Donors
Illinois law treats heirloom rings as completed gifts upon marriage.
- There's no automatic "return to family" condition
- Once the marriage occurs, the ring belongs to the recipient
- The court cannot compel return without a written agreement
The Only Protection: Prenuptial Agreement
If you're giving a family heirloom as an engagement ring, protect it in writing:
In the event of divorce, the engagement ring (described as [description]) shall be returned to Husband's family of origin, and Wife shall receive [cash value or replacement ring] in exchange.
Without a prenuptial agreement, you're relying entirely on your ex's goodwill to return the heirloom. Courts won't help you.
Insurance Issues: The 2024 Development
What happens if the ring is stolen—by your spouse?
In Dana v. Great Northern Insurance Co. (2024 IL App 1st 230224), the wife discovered her diamond had been swapped for a synthetic stone. She suspected her husband.
The insurance company denied the claim, citing a "misappropriation exclusion" barring coverage for theft by family members. The Appellate Court sided with the wife, applying the Innocent Insured Doctrine.
The holding: Unless the policy clearly and unambiguously bars coverage for all insureds when one insured commits wrongdoing, the innocent spouse can recover.
Implication: You can get paid for a ring your partner stole. Those insurance proceeds would likely remain non-marital property.
Valuation Disputes
When the ring is sold, lost, or converted to cash, valuation becomes critical.
Purchase Price vs. Fair Market Value
Jewelry depreciates immediately—like a car leaving the lot.
- Purchase price: What the donor paid (supported by receipt)
- Fair market value: What a willing buyer would pay in the secondary market (typically 30-50% less)
- Insurance appraisal: Replacement value at retail (often inflated)
In a conversion lawsuit (when someone sold the ring without authorization), courts typically award market value at the time of conversion—not purchase price, not insurance appraisal.
The Pawn Shop Problem
If your ex sold a $15,000 ring to a pawn shop for $3,000, you're likely entitled to the $15,000 market value—not just the $3,000 they received. The unauthorized sale doesn't limit your damages.
How to Get the Ring Back: Procedural Mechanics
Replevin (735 ILCS 5/19-101)
Use this when:
- You want the actual ring (not just money)
- The ring is unique (heirloom, custom design)
- Your ex still has it
Requirements:
- File a verified complaint
- You must allege that *they* ended the engagement (or it was mutual)
- Post a bond equal to twice the ring's value
- File in the county where the ring is located
Critical: After Liceaga, if your complaint admits you ended the engagement, the case will be dismissed. Don't plead yourself out of court.
Conversion
Use this when:
- The ring is gone (sold, lost, given away)
- You're seeking money damages
Measure of damages: Market value at the time of conversion.
The Small Claims Trap
Engagement rings often exceed $10,000—the Illinois Small Claims limit. This pushes cases into the Law Division, with formal discovery, potential arbitration, and higher legal fees.
Reality check: Litigating a $12,000 ring dispute in Law Division may cost more than the ring is worth. This economic pressure forces many settlements.
Recent Case Law (2020-2025)
| Case | Year | Key Issue | Holding |
|---|---|---|---|
| *Dana v. Great Northern Ins.* | 2024 | Insurance / Theft by spouse | Innocent insured can recover even if spouse stole the ring |
| *In re Marriage of Kalebic* | 2025 | Transmutation | Strict "clear and convincing" burden for proving non-marital property became marital |
| *Liceaga v. Baez* | 2019 | Broken engagement | Ownership depends on who ended engagement, not why |
| *Vann v. Vehrs* | 1994 | Conditional gift | Ring is conditional gift; replevin action permitted despite Heart Balm Act |
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: We were engaged, I ended it because they cheated. Do I get the ring back?
A: Probably not. Illinois courts don't consider why you ended it—only that you ended it. If you performed the act of calling off the wedding, you likely lose the ring.
Q: We mutually decided to end the engagement. Who gets it?
A: The donor. Mutual termination means both parties abandoned the condition, and the ring returns to restore the parties to their pre-engagement status.
Q: We're divorcing. Is the engagement ring part of property division?
A: No. The ring became non-marital property when you married. The recipient keeps it outright.
Q: What about the ring I upgraded during our marriage?
A: If marital funds were used, the upgraded ring may be partially marital property—or the marital estate may be entitled to reimbursement.
Q: It's a family heirloom. Surely I get it back in divorce?
A: Not without a prenuptial agreement. Sentiment doesn't override property law. Plan ahead.
Q: Can I just take the ring back?
A: Legally risky. Taking property from someone's possession—even property you believe is yours—can lead to theft or conversion claims against you. File a lawsuit instead.
The Bottom Line
Before marriage: The ring is a conditional gift. Who ends the engagement determines who keeps it—not who "deserved" the breakup.
After marriage: The ring is non-marital property. The recipient keeps it, period, unless a prenup says otherwise.
Heirloom rings: Protect them in writing before you propose. Courts won't return family treasures based on sentiment.
Illinois's "act-based" rule may feel unfair if you ended things for good reason. But that's the law. Plan accordingly.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by reading this content.
ATTORNEY ADVERTISING. Past results do not guarantee future outcomes.
Related Articles:
- [Property Division in Illinois Divorce](#)
- [Prenuptial Agreements: What They Can (and Can't) Do](#)
- [Non-Marital Property: Protecting What You Brought to the Marriage](#)
Need to discuss your case? Schedule a consultation with our Chicago family law team.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is who gets the engagement ring?
The answer depends entirely on *who* ended it and *when*. Illinois has specific rules—and they're not what most people expect.
How does Illinois law address who gets the engagement ring?
Illinois family law under 750 ILCS 5 governs who gets the engagement ring. Courts consider statutory factors, case law precedent, and the best interests standard when making determinations. Each case is fact-specific and requires individualized legal analysis.
Do I need an attorney for who gets the engagement ring?
While Illinois law allows self-representation, who gets the engagement ring involves complex legal, financial, and procedural issues. An experienced Illinois family law attorney ensures your rights are protected, provides strategic guidance, and navigates court procedures effectively.
Written by Jonathan D. Steele
Chicago divorce attorney with cybersecurity certifications (Security+, ISC2 CC, Google Cybersecurity Professional Certificate). Illinois Super Lawyers Rising Star 2016-2025.
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