Summary
Case Summary: In re Marriage of Springer - A forgotten shared iPad allowed a spouse to access confidential attorney communications, costing one client $40,000 in an unfavorable settlement—a stark reminder that digital vulnerabilities can devastate legal outcomes. This Illinois divorce guide exposes seven critical mistakes, from social media missteps to cybersecurity oversights, that routinely decisively rebut custody arrangements, drain finances, and refute comprehensively courtroom credibility.
Introduction: "In 15 years practicing family law in Illinois, I've seen these seven mistakes cost clients custody, money, and leverage. Don't be next."
The difference between winning and losing often comes down to avoidable errors. Clients who understand these pitfalls achieve better outcomes. Those who stumble into them face devastating consequences. This guide exposes the most damaging mistakes Illinois divorce attorneys see every day—and exactly how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Posting About Your Case on Social Media
What It Looks Like: Venting about your spouse on Facebook. Posting photos from a weekend getaway. Tweeting complaints about court proceedings. Sharing memes about divorce or custody battles.
Why People Make It: They don't realize social media is discoverable evidence. They think private accounts are actually private. They need emotional support and forget the internet is permanent.
Real Consequence: A client's Facebook posts about "partying every weekend" were printed and presented in court. The opposing attorney used them to argue she wasn't a fit parent. The judge agreed.
The Cost: She lost primary custody. Her parenting time was reduced to supervised visitation only. Reversing this decision took 18 months and $23,000 in additional legal fees.
How to Avoid It:
- Lock down all social media accounts immediately with maximum privacy settings
- Don't post anything about your case, your spouse, or your children
- Assume everything you write electronically will be read aloud in court
- Use encrypted communication for attorney correspondence (ProtonMail, Signal)
- Ask friends and family not to tag you in posts or photos
Illinois Law: Social media content is discoverable under Illinois Supreme Court Rule 214. Courts routinely admit posts, messages, and photos as evidence.
Mistake #2: Submitting Incomplete or Inaccurate Financial Affidavits
What It Looks Like: "Forgetting" to list a bank account. Underreporting income by excluding bonuses. Inflating expenses to appear less wealthy. Omitting cryptocurrency holdings or digital assets.
Why People Make It: They want to hide assets from their spouse. They don't understand what counts as income. They rush through the paperwork without gathering accurate numbers. They don't realize perjury applies to sworn court documents.
Real Consequence: A husband failed to disclose a $127,000 Bitcoin wallet on his financial affidavit. His wife's attorney discovered the Coinbase transactions during discovery. The court imposed sanctions and awarded the wife 100% of the hidden cryptocurrency.
The Cost: $127,000 in lost assets. $15,000 in sanctions. Complete destruction of credibility with the judge for all remaining issues.
How to Avoid It:
- Gather three years of tax returns before completing your affidavit
- List every account—checking, savings, investment, retirement, cryptocurrency
- Include all income sources: salary, bonuses, commissions, rental income, side gigs
- Document debts accurately with current balances and monthly payments
- Have your attorney review the affidavit before you sign and notarize it
Illinois Law: Under 750 ILCS 5/501(a)(2), both parties must provide sworn financial disclosure. Perjury on financial affidavits carries criminal penalties and devastating credibility consequences.
Mistake #3: Missing Critical Filing Deadlines
What It Looks Like: Filing a response one day late. Missing the dissipation notice deadline. Failing to disclose expert witnesses on time. Submitting discovery responses after the 28-day window.
Why People Make It: They don't understand that court deadlines are absolute. They assume extensions are always available. They're overwhelmed and let paperwork pile up. They don't calendar dates properly.
Real Consequence: A wife had clear evidence her husband gambled away $85,000 during the marriage. She filed her dissipation notice 62 days before trial. The deadline was 60 days. The court refused to consider her claim.
The Cost: $85,000 in marital assets she could never recover. The deadline miss was two days. The financial loss was permanent.
How to Avoid It:
- Calendar every deadline the moment you receive it—use phone alerts
- Build in a 5-day buffer before every actual due date
- Confirm deadlines with your attorney in writing
- Never assume you can get an extension—courts deny them routinely
- Treat discovery deadlines as seriously as trial dates
Illinois Law: Under 750 ILCS 5/503(d)(2), dissipation notices must be filed no later than 60 days before trial or 30 days after discovery closes. Miss it by one day, and your claim is forfeited.
Mistake #4: Deleting Text Messages and Digital Evidence
What It Looks Like: Clearing text message history after an argument. Deleting emails that show your spouse's bad behavior. Erasing photos from your phone. Wiping browser history or app data.
Why People Make It: They're embarrassed by the content. They think deleting protects their privacy. They don't realize deleted data is often recoverable. They don't understand spoliation consequences.
Real Consequence: A father deleted text messages showing his wife's threats and erratic behavior. When he couldn't produce them during discovery, the court drew an adverse inference. The judge assumed the deleted messages would have hurt his case.
The Cost: He lost the custody arrangement he wanted. The deleted evidence would have supported his position. Instead, its absence was used against him.
How to Avoid It:
- Screenshot important text messages immediately—preserve metadata
- Back up your phone to secure cloud storage before anything happens
- Never delete any communication once divorce becomes possible
- Use forensic preservation tools if you have critical digital evidence
- Assume opposing counsel will subpoena phone records and cloud backups
Illinois Law: Illinois courts impose spoliation sanctions under their inherent authority. Destroying evidence can result in adverse inference instructions, monetary sanctions, or case dismissal.
Mistake #5: Violating Court Orders—Even Minor Ones
What It Looks Like: Returning children 30 minutes late from parenting time. Making a major decision about a child without consulting the other parent. Moving money between accounts when ordered to maintain the status quo.
Why People Make It: They think minor violations don't matter. They believe their reasons justify the breach. They're angry at their spouse and act out. They don't read orders carefully.
Real Consequence: A mother was 45 minutes late returning her children three times in one month. Traffic was the reason each time. The father filed a motion for contempt. The court modified the parenting schedule against her.
The Cost: She lost every-other-weekend overnights for six months. Attorney fees for the contempt hearing: $4,200. All because of 45 minutes, three times.
How to Avoid It:
- Read every court order word by word—highlight key requirements
- Follow orders exactly, even when you disagree with them
- Build in extra time for exchanges to account for traffic or delays
- Document your compliance meticulously
- If you can't comply, file a motion to modify before you violate
Illinois Law: Under 750 ILCS 5/607.5, courts may modify parenting time for violations. Contempt findings can result in makeup time, attorney fee awards, or jail in extreme cases.
Mistake #6: Ignoring Cybersecurity During Your Divorce
What It Looks Like: Using the same passwords you've had for years. Keeping your spouse on shared accounts. Discussing strategy over unencrypted email. Forgetting about location-sharing apps.
Why People Make It: They don't think their spouse is tech-savvy enough to snoop. They forget which accounts are shared. They underestimate how much information is accessible. They don't realize their car tracks their location.
Real Consequence: A client's entire trial strategy was compromised. Her husband accessed her attorney's emails through a shared iPad she'd forgotten about. He knew every settlement position and every piece of evidence we planned to present.
The Cost: The case settled unfavorably because we lost all strategic advantage. She accepted $40,000 less than she should have received. One forgotten iPad cost her five figures.
How to Avoid It:
- Change every password immediately—use a password manager
- Enable two-factor authentication on all accounts
- Check shared device access: iCloud, Google, Amazon, streaming services
- Review location-sharing apps: Find My iPhone, Life360, vehicle GPS
- Create a new email address your spouse has never known about
- Audit smart home devices: Ring, Nest, Alexa may be recording you
Illinois Law: While Illinois is a one-party consent state for recordings, unauthorized access to accounts may violate state and federal computer fraud laws.
Mistake #7: Fighting Every Battle Instead of Winning the War
What It Looks Like: Litigating who keeps the $200 coffee table. Refusing reasonable settlement offers out of spite. Demanding full custody when shared parenting is appropriate. Filing motions over every minor disagreement.
Why People Make It: Emotions drive their decisions, not logic. They want to "win" against their spouse. They don't understand litigation costs. They confuse being right with being strategic.
Real Consequence: A husband spent $18,000 in attorney fees fighting over furniture worth $3,500. He "won" the furniture. He lost the financial war. His legal bills consumed five times what he was fighting over.
The Cost: $18,000 in fees for $3,500 in assets. Twelve months of litigation that could have ended in three. A judge who viewed him as unreasonable on all remaining issues.
How to Avoid It:
- Calculate the cost of litigation before fighting any issue
- Ask yourself: "Will this matter in five years?"
- Focus on the big issues: children, retirement accounts, the house
- Consider mediation for disputes that don't require judicial intervention
- Listen to your attorney's advice about settlement—they've seen how trials end
Illinois Law: Under 750 ILCS 5/508, courts can award attorney fees against parties who engage in unreasonable litigation conduct.
The Underlying Pattern
These mistakes share common roots:
- References
- Illinois Supreme Court Rule 214: Illinois Courts - Supreme Court Rules
- 750 ILCS 5/501(a)(2), Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act: Illinois General Assembly - ILCS
- 750 ILCS 5/503(d)(2), Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act: Illinois General Assembly - ILCS
- Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, 750 ILCS 5/607.5: Illinois General Assembly - ILCS
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