Why Moving Out Could Be Your Best Move: A Divorce Attorney's Insight

As a seasoned divorce attorney, I often find myself challenging conventional wisdom, particularly the belief that staying in the family home during a separation is always the best move.

Sure, conventional thinking advises to "stay put at all costs," but divorce isn't a one-size-fits-all situation. I've seen cases where holding your ground only escalates tensions, prolongs negotiations, and inflates attorney fees.

It's essential to carefully weigh both the emotional and financial costs of staying. While remaining in the family home might seem advantageous short-term, it can dramatically increase conflict, complicating everything from custody arrangements to property division.

If you're miserable or constantly at odds with your spouse, moving out can offer clarity and leverage. Securing suitable accommodations might be inconvenient initially, but strategically, it can expedite settlement discussions. When you move out, the spouse remaining in the home often faces pressure to resolve matters promptly, rather than enjoying the comfort of the status quo.

Financial independence is also non-negotiable in my book. Rather than simply recommending separate bank accounts during a divorce, I advise clients to proactively manage and understand their finances throughout the marriage. It's crucial to know exactly where your money is coming from, how it's being spent, and precisely what assets and debts exist. Being financially informed prevents unpleasant surprises and levels the playing field if your relationship deteriorates.

Transparency in financial dealings between spouses is equally critical. Too often, one partner remains oblivious to the family's financial realities—a situation that can be devastating during divorce proceedings.

Ignorance is costly. I strongly recommend understanding your joint assets, liabilities, and financial obligations. It's not about distrusting your spouse; it's about empowerment and preparedness. The better informed you are, the smoother your transition through separation will be.

Ultimately, navigating divorce effectively isn't merely about holding your position—it's about making strategic, informed decisions and maintaining clear-eyed financial autonomy.

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Written by Jonathan D. Steele

Chicago divorce attorney with cybersecurity certifications (Security+, CEH, ISC2). Illinois Super Lawyers Rising Star 2016-2025.

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