Managing Privacy Settings In Joint Social Media Accounts Post-Divorce

Summary

Changing passwords, revoking access, and thoroughly reviewing privacy settings on all social media accounts are critical first steps after a divorce. Consulting with an attorney is recommended to ensure social media activity aligns with the legal approach, especially in high-conflict divorces involving custody disputes.

Managing Privacy Settings in Joint Social Media Accounts Post-Divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy. In addition to the legal, financial, and emotional challenges, you also have to navigate disentangling your digital life from your former spouse. One particularly tricky area is dealing with joint social media accounts. How do you handle login credentials, passwords, privacy settings, shared photos and posts? What are the potential risks if your ex still has access to accounts? What are the legal implications? Here's a deep dive into how to manage privacy settings for joint social media accounts after a divorce.

1. Immediately Change All Passwords and Revoke Access

The first and most critical step is to change the passwords on any joint social media accounts and revoke your ex's access. This prevents them from being able to log in, post, or make any changes. Use strong, unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if available for extra security. On Facebook, go to Settings > Security and Login to change your password. On Instagram, go to Settings > Privacy and Security > Password. Act quickly to lock your ex out of joint accounts.

In one case, a woman discovered her ex-husband was still accessing a shared iCloud account post-divorce, allowing him to see her location, photos, and messages. She had forgotten the account was still linked to her devices. Changing passwords promptly can prevent such invasions of privacy.

2. Update Your Login Email Address

In addition to changing passwords, make sure to update the login email address on your social accounts to an email only you control. Your ex may try to do a password reset and regain access. By changing to your own email address, you can prevent this.

For example, on Twitter, go to Settings and privacy > Account > Email. On LinkedIn, go to Me > Settings & Privacy > Account preferences > Email addresses. Use an email address that only you have access to, not one shared with your former spouse.

3. Check Linked Accounts and Devices

Another important step is to review any linked accounts or authorized devices. Did you grant access to any of your ex's devices, like their phone or tablet? Or link your social account to one of theirs? Review the list of authorized devices and sessions in your account settings.

On Facebook, go to Settings > Security and Login > Where You're Logged In to see all devices currently signed into your account. You can click "Log Out" to revoke access. Also check Apps and Websites to see any linked accounts. On Instagram, go to Settings > Security > Apps and Websites. Remove any you don't recognize or no longer need.

4. Review Privacy Settings

Next, it's time for a thorough review of your privacy settings. Evaluate who can see your posts, photos, friends list, and personal information. Decide whether to make your account completely private, or restrict access to only trusted friends and family.

On most platforms, like Facebook and Twitter, you can make your entire account private in the settings. This means only approved followers can see your posts and information. You can also tweak individual settings, like who can see your photos or send you friend requests.

For example, limit past posts by changing the privacy to "Friends" or "Only Me". Hide your friends list if it contains mutual connections with your ex. Make your profile unsearchable. The goal is to maximize your privacy and restrict information accessible to your former partner.

5. Purge and Untag Photos

Depending on the nature of your split, you may wish to delete photos and posts that include your ex. Untag yourself from their photos. On Facebook, you can filter your Activity Log by "Posts You're Tagged In" to easily find and remove tags. You can also change the privacy on past posts to hide them from your timeline.

However, keep in mind that deleting or altering content could be problematic from a legal perspective, especially if you have a contentious divorce or ongoing court case. It's best to consult with your divorce attorney before purging photos that could be considered evidence. You may be advised to save copies before deleting.

6. Block or Unfriend

In more acrimonious divorces, you may need to completely block or unfriend your ex. Blocking means they cannot see your profile, posts, or contact you on that platform at all. Unfriending or removing a connection still allows them to potentially see some public information.

On Facebook, go to Settings > Blocking to add your ex's name to the blocked list. You can also unfriend them by going to their profile, clicking Friends, and selecting "Unfriend". On Instagram, go to their profile, tap the three dots icon, and select "Block".

Note that blocking can sometimes antagonize an ex or escalate tensions. But if they are harassing you or you need them completely out of your digital life, it may be necessary. If you have a restraining order, blocking them on social media helps enforce this. Document any threatening or abusive messages before blocking.

7. Don't Forget Other Platforms

Many people focus on the big social networks like Facebook and Instagram. But don't forget to address secondary platforms as well. Did you have a shared Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat or YouTube account? A joint blog, website, or gaming profile?

Make a list of any platforms where you had a shared presence with your ex. Systematically go through and update passwords, revoke access, check privacy settings, and remove any content related to your former partner. Prioritize any that include personal data, financial information, or risqué photos.

8. Involve Your Attorney

If you have an acrimonious or high-conflict divorce, consider looping in your attorney on your social media activities. They can advise you on the legal implications. There may be certain content you are required to preserve for court proceedings. An angry ex may try to use your posts against you in custody or financial disputes.

Ask your lawyer if you need to avoid posting about new relationships, purchases, vacations, or venting about your former spouse. Having a detailed social media strategy that aligns with your legal approach is important.

In one divorce case, a father was denied primary custody after his ex presented social media posts of him partying, drinking excessively, and making lewd comments. Assume everything you post could become an exhibit in family court. Manage your settings and behavior accordingly if kids are involved.

9. Secure Your Devices

Locking down privacy on joint accounts is important. But don't forget the physical devices you use to access those accounts. Make sure your ex doesn't have the passcode to unlock your smartphone, tablet or laptop. Secure your home wireless network by changing the password on your router. Use a VPN for added security on public Wi-Fi.

If you and your ex shared an iPad the kids use, for example, create a new Apple ID for yourself. Remove the device from your account so your ex can't use Find My to see the location. Set up a separate child account. Keep software up-to-date and run anti-malware to prevent hacking attempts. Encrypt your hard drive and backups in case a device is lost or stolen.

10. Stay Alert

Finally, vigilance is key. Monitor your accounts closely in the months following your divorce. Check your login history and active sessions frequently. Be on the lookout for any suspicious activity. If your ex does manage to regain access, change passwords again immediately. Document any hacking attempts or harassment.

Consider signing up for a service that monitors for identity theft or unauthorized access to your accounts. Certain apps, like mSpy or Cerberus, can also alert you to any spyware on your devices.

After Gwen S. divorced her controlling ex-husband, she discovered he had installed a keylogger on her computer, allowing him to see everything she typed, including new passwords. A small device was plugged into the back of her desktop. She had it forensically analyzed to use as evidence in her case, since he continued to stalk and threaten her.

Managing privacy post-divorce can feel overwhelming. But it's a crucial step in moving forward, protecting your safety, and starting an independent digital life. By promptly securing accounts, resetting passwords, checking settings, and staying alert, you can defend against an ex who may attempt to invade your privacy online after a split. If in doubt, consult with your attorney on the best approach for your unique situation.

References

• mSpy and Cerberus apps for monitoring unauthorized access to accounts and devices (mentioned in the second to last paragraph, but specific capabilities of the apps are not provided)
• The anecdote about "Gwen S." discovering her ex-husband installed a keylogger on her computer is presented without a clear source (last paragraph)

For more insights, read our Divorce Decoded blog.